Wednesday 27 October 2021

Shaquille O’Neal’s Watch Collection Misses Harder Than His Free Throws

Shaquille Rashaun O’Neal, better know as Shaq (or Shaq Diesel if you’re a man of culture), is not only one of the best basketball players of all time, but a real Renaissance man.

A real gentle giant known for his great sense of humour and his surprising business acumen, the 49-year-old, 7ft1in NBA legend has done everything from starring in films, video games and even professional wrestling; endorsing brands as diverse as Tonka, Pepsi and Buick; investing in eSports and property development, and has even launched his own big and tall suits line. He’s got a real Midas touch – except when it comes to watches, it seems.

Last year, Shaq launched his own watch line with Invicta, a Swiss watch brand with a somewhat chequered reputation. While Invicta offer some of the most affordable Swiss made watches on the market (although it’s often dubious how Swiss many of their pieces really are), they’re widely criticised by most watch collectors for their cheap-looking aesthetics and build quality.

Sadly, the Invicta SHAQ Collection (all caps so you know it’s serious!) is no exception to this rule. Indeed, it’s perhaps the rule. Encompassing dozens of watches, each with a design more horrific than the last, the Invicta SHAQ collection might just be the most ugly bunch of on the planet.

Page 1 of the Invicta Shaq collection. There’s four more pages, and they don’t get any better. Image: screenshot

Fake jewels, fake gold, cheap-looking finishes… To add insult to injury, many of these watches have four-figure price tags, despite their cheap construction and quartz movements. All feature a case size of 50mm or above, too – Shaq’s a big dude so that makes sense, but 50mm would be astronomically large for the average person. Like Flava Flav clocks for the wrist.

Invicta describe these watches as “imparting a formidable aesthetic” and “distinguished depictions at the height of design and performance… artistry in timekeeping marked by excellence, poise, and power.” We’d call them overpriced and chintzy (although Invicta always has a huge amount of watches on ‘clearance’, so buying one full price is an exceptional folly).

RELATED: The Best Men’s Watch Brands You Can Get For Under $1,000

It’s ironic that Shaq’s co-signed such awful watches when he’s previously penned a far more illustrious collaboration: his very own Audemars Piguet signature model. The Royal Oak Offshore ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ also features a hefty 48mm case size and is hardly an exercise in horological subtlety, but it’s leagues above anything Invicta has ever made.

Check out that watch, as well as some of the best watches NBA players have in their myriad collections, below.

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